Life/Heart


It was a cold evening, I had just gotten back from school when I sat with my mum as she stared into space. She didn’t even hear me walk in, she must be deep in thoughts, I imagined staring at her, wondering what she was drowning in.

“Mother”, I called, but she didn’t flinch which was unusual. Scared that something might have happened to her, I called her again with a push to call her back to consciousness.


It rained heavily that afternoon, I was a bit bothered because in the next hour I would be going back home. Against my wish for the rain to stop, it increase as if the controller derived joy from turning it high. This time I knew for sure that I was going to be drenched all the way home.

It was the first time we saw each other in so many years and he won’t stop embracing me, saying “I’ve missed me so much”

Smiling, I repeated the same and that was when I saw the smile on his face; the same I have always remembered. “He hadn’t aged a bit”, I thought to myself as I tried to maintain a blank face to avoid raising any idea or giving away any inclination towards where my thoughts where headed.
“This feels weird”, I said to myself as we continually held each other’s gaze like we were both sharing unspoken memories.  

She was cold and her body began to grow stiff just like dad’s minutes before he passed on. I cried because I didn’t want to lose her because irrespective of her imperfection, she was still my mom and had gone through a lot for us.

My father ceased taking care of after having two children with his mistress. He turned his back on us, not even caring if we ate or not, but my mother was always there for and she did everything my father had run away from.

I looked at him as tears clouded my eyes, my lips could not form the words, so I sat there and stared.

“Yes! So what he if snapped? So what if I slept with her? Don’t tell me that was the emergency you wanted us to deal with”

 It dawned on me that he wasn’t sorry; he didn’t    even care if his words where hurting me; he wasn’t concerned if what we shared was going down the drain.

Its ride or die woman. If you’re with me be with me and if you aren’t, pack up. I had just gotten out of my chemotherapy, to find out all that I had known to be a lie. I could still remember the words clearly in my head ‘’If you don’t love me pretend’’.

Joseph and I met few years back, we had kicked off very easily as casual friends seeing as we had similar interests, views and ideas about a whole lot of things. That was when he started to develop strong feelings for me, I wasn’t the ‘dreamy love’ type; heck the word even scares me so much that I did not want to be moving around anyone who was coming in that line.

The night was cold as I struggled, my strength failing me and my lips would not close or stop letting out the sruciating sound of the reality that was happening to me. I begged and cried, I even began calling names of God and gods that they might believe in. that was when one of them decided to hit me and I felt my jaw shift, only then did my screams stifled to muffled noise as unending tears continually rolled down my face and It dawned on me, no help was coming and they weren’t going to stop.