Dear Bro Fuston,
I never knew that love could have a sour taste. Men are wicked and heartless and should be ruthlessly dealt.
I was in a relationship for six years but instead of deriving lasting joy in it, it brought woes, sorrow and regret to me.
I have been jilted and pushed out by a guy I gave the greatest part of my life.
We started going out when I was 18 years old, this guy is my first man and I also confided so much in him.
To me he was a demi-god, what I cannot tell my mother I will freely tell this guy, he opened my eyes to a whole lot of things about relationships.
I took him as a big brother, mentor and companion. There was never a time I denied him my body due to the fact that I was very free and I reposed so much trust in him.
If someone had woken me up and informed me that this guy for any reason will disappoint me and deny me, I will call that person a false informant.
He told his friends that I am everything to him and as such his last bus-stop.
He gave me the impression that no matter what happened we were going to get married. I believed him without any reservation.
I had a spare key to his room and throughout the years we dated there was no threat to our relationship. No woman ever visited his house, if there was, not to my knowledge for those years we dated.
He is a motor parts dealer and the last son of his parents, because his second and third brothers are yet to be married, he told me that we should be patient for them to get married before ours and that I should go for an abortion because I discovered I was pregnant and told him we could go ahead and get married instead of terminating the pregnancy.
He politely convinced me and that was the first time I had an abortion, his reasons to me were genuine coupled with the fact that I was doing my project defence in school as at that time.
It’s over two years this incident happened and I have never bordered to talk to him about marriage because his elder brothers are still unmarried.
His antics was made open when I became pregnant for him again and he insisted that I should go for another abortion, but this time I refused and reminded him of his promise to go ahead with marriage plans if I become pregnant again.
The pregnancy was about four months when he deceitfully took me to a quack doctor who in trying to remove the unborn child badly damaged my womb.
I became suspicious of him after this hurtful act, the worst now is that he is getting married to another girl secretly after damaging my womb.
His two brothers are not yet married because this has been his reason for not hooking up with me.
Now he has ruined me and wants to dump me for a fresh girl. I don’t want to make a public show of the matter because it will further put me on line. What I want now is how to quietly get my pound of flesh.
He will never see a baby with his two eyes. I needed someone I could pour my heart to for advice and you readily came into mind. Please, don’t also turn your back at me.
Sophia, from Mbaise.
Dear Sophia,
Your case is very pathetic and unfortunate and indeed I feel for you.
However, one natural law of life is that one must reap what one sows, if you sow to the wild winds you reap whirlwind. You sow to thorns you surely must reap thorns but one that sows on a fertile ground must reap good fruits.
Instead of waiting for the right time you hurriedly and ignorantly gave your womanhood to a predator who is on the prowl to destroy.
In my thinking, every mistake made has a commensurate reward. Unfortunately, you gave your body to a total stranger and he explored your ignorance to his inordinate satisfaction and the price is what you are paying now. So it is not the problem of men, but the guy in question.
You should have known, at least from the time you started sleeping with him (at 18 years) that sex is for married people. You also should have known that he was only pretending to love you when he urged you to kill your unborn child.
You did not tell me his age, but from the look of things he is of age, so the excuse that his two elder brothers are yet to settle down with their own wives shouldn’t have come up. There is no tradition that forbids a man who is of age to marry and has the financial muscle to wait until his elder brothers are all married.
I am convinced that you never took time to study this and that was why you trusted him so much, the same reason he fooled you.
Put yourself together, go to this guy and remind him of his promise to marry you and the condition himself and his quack doctor have put you into.
Don’t think of revenge, leave that to God because He knows how best to go about it.
Any act of revenge may further endanger your life, seek God’s face more now and refrain from such attitude that will make God turn His back at you.
Human beings have said that your womb is damaged but God may not have said so, besides He is the greatest physician, He can heal you of this problem.
You may have learnt your lessons that it is not good to trust in the arm of flesh. Put all your trust in God, He will never disappoint you.
Live above this situation, go about your normal business without let or hindrance.
I wish you the best.
