Dear Fuston,
I must categorically state that God has failed me in my marriage. Fox nine whole years I have been calling on Him to wipe out my hot tears with at least a gift of a baby, but for these number of years I have never been Pregnant for only I week let alone having a baby.
Each month I see my mensural period and throughout the days it will flow I feel like taking my own life. Childlessness in marriage is the last thing I can wish my enemy, it is tormentious, its burdens are dangerously heavy, its stigma and ridicule come heavier on me the woman whether she is responsible for the childlessness or not. Most times when I see two or three persons talking in a low tone o feel they are discussing my situation I am not happy because there is no child of my own that run around the house and jump on the sofa. There are times some friends tell me I am beautiful but inside I always feel miserable.
I have constantly asked myself these questions. Who will take care of me in my old age? Who will call me mother and in true sense of it I am his/her biological mother? Who will bury me when I finally shuffle off this mortal coil? These questions and more are compelling me to adhere to my husband’s request of sleeping with his immediate elder brother so that I can bear him children. He is averse with adoption and insisted that I bear him a child through his lineage.
At first I blatantly refused doing such thing because of my husband’s integrity and mine and probably what the future holds for us.
My husband’s only sister is aware of this whole episode if she doesn’t talk about it someday, then the brother may, but my husband is guaranteeing utmost confidentiality in this.
The man to lie with me has not been informed about this move, but I am not in doubt that this father of tour will jump at the request because he is very randy and at some point had given me the impression that suggests he can lie sexually with me despite my being his younger brother’s wife. He is aware that my husband had a motor accident that forced his scrotal sack while growing up, but he is unaware that the same problem is responsible for his childless marriage.
This discovery that he can’t father a child was made last three years, because he performs well sexually and have never complained of any problem there, we had thought that pregnancy someday will occur until the pressure became much and we had to conduct several laboratory tests and to our chagrin was told this sad news by a consultant obstetrics and gynecology at the Enugu state University teaching hospital.
Since three years we have fervently committed this matter nothing seems to happen.
My husband now looks emanciated and is diminishing by the day. He is 48 years and feels that the only remedy to this is by sleeping with his own blood brother to make babies.
I am 40 years, time is running fast against me, can’t I be vindicated by this move? Do I continue to be referred to as that barren woman? Don’t you think that being pregnant ion the hands of my brother in-law will prove me a woman to those that call me a man?
My husband has given me up to July ending for an answer to enable him take the next action, I am considering telling him to bring his brother along, but on a second thought I decided to know from you what best I should do. It is late to leave this marriage, I love my husband he has tried for me, tell me do I continue like this? Good morning.
Ebubechukwudi.
Dear Ebubechukwudi,
Indeed God has not fail you, He has a time appointed for every thing under the heaven. Yours is nine years but some prayers have been answered after twenty years, I do not wish that you stay up to 20 years before your supplication is granted by God.
He said in His Holy Book that you should be still and watch His salvation come unto you.
God may not have done your request unto Him because such gift as you require it now may add to your sorrow. I am of the view that you continue with your husband in prayers and fasting believing (not in doubt) that God can do all things at the time he deems appropriate for you.
Going to sleep with your husband’s older brother is against the law of God who incidentally is the giver of children, bear in mind that your amorous brother in-law did not create his own children, it was God that generously gave him those kids and so believing that you automatically will get Pregnant the moment you sleep with him is very misleading. I would want you to consider seriously the implications of this action your husband is prompting to take.
What if the news of your proposed escaped with your husband’s brother filters into your community, because definitely it will? Have considered the wife and children of your brother in-law in this matter or do you think they are not important?
Your husband is like a drawing man and so he clutches on anything he can lay his hand on, and for this reason you need not to think in the same direction with him but rather should show patience in all things.
Adoption of a baby is more honorable and respectful than going to commit incest with your brother in-law.
Do not lose hope yet, alternatively you can go for adoption, you never can tell, God can use your adopted child wipe away your tears in all areas.
Learn onto God wholly at this time, He knows how to provide you with a tough skin to overlook those that make mockery of you. I must make you know that accepting to sleep with your brother in-law or any other man is not a sure bait that you must be pregnant, be courageous and resist that evil one speaking through your beloved husband. Bye.
