Dear Fuston,
I do not know exactly what to do as it stands. First, let me thank you for accepting to help me the first time I sent an SMS to you.
I have attempted to move away from the relationship, but each time I tried to, my conscience would prick me. She is a beauty to behold, very honest and trustworthy.
We have known ourselves for barely two years now and I must be very open to you, we have not kissed each other or gone to bed together, but we still love ourselves.
We saw ourselves first at the Western Union section of a bank, when she came to collect money sent to her parents by her brother abroad through her and I came to make enquiries from my friend who works in that section.
Women like her are few in our society. If she believes in a course, she pursues that course vigorously and decently.
I love her for her wisdom and analytical disposition. She is very respectful, kind and God-fearing.
I have screened her and considered her the woman I will live with as my wife and the mother of my children.
I felt I have got to my final bus stop in search of a wife; I have decided that she is the one for me because I did not see any inhibition standing on our marital bliss.
Her genotype is AA, myself is also AA, so for me there was no hindrance.
Recently, I took her to a cosy eatery in town, after our lunch, I knelt down and begged her to marry me with an engagement ring I had, immediately she started crying and I thought it was tears of joy, but I was wrong.
She said to me while sobbing “I will not say yes to you because I am not sure you love me. I replied her that if indeed I don’t love you I will not go to the extent of begging you to marry me, that was when she told me that she has a confession to make and that it is after that, that she will know if indeed I love her from the depth of my heart.
There and then, she told me a story of how her first ever relationship resulted in her being pregnant while in the secondary school and in her bid to get rid of the pregnancy and avert the stigma and reproach that accompanies it, she had her two wombs damaged and subsequently removed by the doctors that noted she will die if allowed to live with decomposing wombs.
To tell you the truth I was downcast after hearing her story. She told me she has accepted her fate and had resolved never to indulge in the illicit act again, but to look unto God for redemption, the reason why she rebuffed any move I made to sleep with her.
She never hid any angle of this dark part of her life from me, she bared it all.
I must categorically state here that her openness is one of the strong reasons why I love and want her to be around me.
But the challenge I have is leaving in the same house with a woman whom I am aware would never give me children; I am a lover of children and had always wished to have lovely ones.
I am seriously weighing the character of this 26-year old beauty, which am sure will guarantee my peace as a married man and her inability to give me children which may cause problems later in our marriage.
Please, enlighten me on the right path to toe.
Paulinus is a fore-man in Port Harcourt with a popular construction company.
Dear Paulinus,
Life often throws a curve ball at one, and when this happened developing the ability to dodge the ball becomes needful and sometimes difficult.
You have given me enough reasons to believe that you are facing a tough challenge, in this situation you must be painstaking and should not allow yourself to be swayed in taking the right decision.
Marriage is for the strong willed and not for people that easily can be caused to swing from side to side.
You made it clear that the lady is all that you wanted as a wife, except for her inability to bear you children.
Let me make it clear to you that you can go ahead to marry her if only you can strongly stand against the tide, pressure and push of childlessness.
The essence of marriage is not only for pro-creation, it was when God saw that the man Adam was lonely, that He (God) brought the woman Eve into existence.
The woman should be a helper in answer to the loneliness of a man, and thus a partner and companion in life.
I must also state here that man has a social need that cannot be satisfied by any other thing, not even the animals but the woman, this social need is only acceptable in marriage, this is another reason why God created the woman as a suitable mate for the man.
Of-course you can adopt the number of children you want and still live a happy life as a man, many adopted children are today the pride of their parents.
So you can think in that direction, besides there is no situation in life that God has no answer to, you can faithfully trust God to upturn what the doctors of this world said.
You are only required to be steadfast and unmovable in taking this step.
But, if you know that you would not be able to firmly withstand the troubles and pressures that emanate from childlessness, my opinion is that you quietly call it quit with this good lady. Most mistakes carry unbearable punishment and this you must know.
The earlier you take decision on this matter the better for you. Be man enough to take a decision and stand by it no matter what people will say.
I wish you the best.
