Dear Bro Fuston,
Good morning Sir, I want to beg you not to publish my letter, but if you insist on publishing it, please don’t use my real name. Use Sharon but I would have preferred you answer me directly.
I am a fresh graduate of a known College of Education and I’m in my mid-20s.
I want to find out from you if my constant desire of dating older men is normal. I sometimes don’t move out with them because of their money but sometimes because of the happiness going out with them affords me.
I had in the past tried to date young guys but in all sincerity it was difficult for me to blend with them and the relationship often ended in crisis.
A man of about 52 years de-flowered me then at Aba and he was petting me silly. I think that was where my love for older men started.
When I left Aba with my parents down to where we are now I have been going out with men most times above 60 years and I can’t remember quarrelling with any of them.
My present catch is a traditional ruler that wields lots of influence who is a little above 60 years. Frankly he is a brand, he knows how to handle a woman and make her ask for more.
Sometimes the fun is not in sex and the shopping but the jokes and comfort of staying with him.
He is my mentor and such a person that is ready to show me the right way to follow. I have been dating him for three years and there is no day that is not memorable.
He has advised me to get married if the right man comes. Now there is this guy who is in his 30s that is desperate to marry me.
The guy is fairly good but cannot be compared with His Royal Highness. He is not as patient as my Eze and from the look of things may not offer me the necessary attention this monarch offers to me.
I have given him enough opportunity to convince me but I don’t see him out-do my present lover (the Eze).
I have discovered that I am happier staying with older men than young guys, because the elderly are less stressful unlike the young boys.
Each passing day I get confused about this feeling. I have been asking myself if it is a normal feeling.
Please, help me to know if this is the best for me because I want to get married and settle down with any man that will give me the required pleasure and happiness.
Is this happiness only found in older men?
Sharon
Dear Sharon,
There wouldn’t have been any need to beg me not to publish your letter because most young girls like you are facing similar problems and may through reading your mail get answers to their problems.
Besides, I have said it over and over again in this column that any mail that comes to me automatically becomes my property and that of Nigeria Newspoint and so the usage depends on our discretion.
I think your problem is more of spiritual than emotional and must be approached spiritually for a lasting solution.
You have not discovered the sin in what you are doing and that is why you derive joy indulging in it.
You may not have known that your sexual association with these older men who are assumed to be husbands and fathers may have brought disaffection and separation in their homes.
Are you not ashamed that you are dating a man old enough to be your grand father? Do you not know that sexual entanglement with a man that is not your husband is an abomination before God?
Your mind is fixed on the comfort these older men offer you and that is why it will be difficult for you to see anything good come from a younger man, and until you scrub your mind off this pervasion, you obviously cannot co-habit with a young guy.
Bear in mind that your sexual escapades with a traditional ruler have desecrated his stool and so his mentorship is only to explore your youthful body.
If he is such a good man, like you want me to believe, why didn’t he advise you against sleeping with him?
Why would he in the first place descend so low to take a girl of your age to his adulterous bed?
Your naivety is clear and these old men capitalize on it to deceive you, so wake up now to realities.
There are very many young men ready to treat any decent young lady well. Maybe the ones you came across notice that you lack such decency.
My advice to you is that you go back to God in constant prayers and fasting. Ask Him to help you overcome this abnormal, condemnable and gross indecent behavior.
Take care.
