Dear bro Fuston,
My husband is fifty years old and our marriage has lasted for seventeen years.
We wedded exactly on the day I turned twenty five, so it was a special day for me, being my wedding and birthday.
I so much cherish my husband and he does same to me, together we have made a great and an exemplary family, my first child, a girl is sixteen years and the last, a boy is eight years old, and the five of them, our kids are very lovely children.
Our sexual life, I can say was above average, we never complained neither him or myself, until he had an industrial accident that affected adversely his sexual performance, he can hardly sustain erection for about four minutes, he has the desire but cannot satisfy me because of his poor erection.
Sometimes we struggle to do it after several hours, and after that long effort, my husband can stay for a whole month without having erection no matter how hard we try.
The unfortunate thing being that my own urge and desire are on the increase even as he is decreasing. this gave us much concern but recently he discovered an Hausa man who gave him a local traditional medicine in a small bottle.
Each time he takes that medicine he charges at me like a lion would to a zebra and can make love to me for over five hours nonstop and after that he can sleep throughout the day and when he wakes up he eats as if he has not seen food all his life, and myself will be useless throughout the day.
The joy of love making for me is gone because the act now lacks care and romance, which is what makes the act pleasurable.
I have told him to stop taking that drug but he would not bulge, fear takes a grip on me each time he comes with his sexual onslaught.
I am thinking that the medicine will have lots of after effect, besides it is killing my interest for him sexually.
Sincerely speaking, I want to be satisfied sexually but not at the rate at which my husband gives it to me, hence I seek your assistance on the best approach in resolving this problem.
NkasiobiOwerri
Dear Nkasiobi
There is no gain saying the fact that sexual pleasure and satisfaction are the rights of every married person or persons.
Sexual urge as was given to man by God is to be satisfied only in marriage, infact God warned married people not to defraud one another sexually, morally it is wrong and I am aware that our society frowns at such defraudation also.
The truth is that some partners for reasons beyond them may fall short of accomplishing this responsibility to their spouses, the reason can be health challenges, like in the case of your husband, and so this call for restrain and understanding among the couple.
Your husband like you made me to know had an industrial accident, which affected his performance sexually and by extension is attacking your marriage.
I am thinking that there would have been a proper understanding between you two.
It is an error on his part for him to have gone to seek help from a local herbalist without your consent.
But the question is where you taunting him? Was there a time you made an unpleasant remark of his condition?
That maybe his reason for resorting to an aphrodisiac (a drug for excessive sexual desire) and also refusing to stop the usage.
A man that suddenly lost his libido needs love, care, affection and reassurance.
If you must stop your man from this life threatening practice and probably set yourself free from being pummelled sexually, then you must get him on the table for a heart to heart discussion.
Show him real love and affection at this instance and reassure of love you have for him no matter the situation.
Seek help from a good medical practitioner especially one vast in sexual organs.
You two should also learn to use other parts of your body to achieve the same sexual satisfaction.
Be careful not to let this singular problem which you can overcome through constant communication and patience, crumble a marriage you have labored to build in the last seventeen years.
Do not let it affect other areas of your marriage keep it away from children and ensure you speak only to a medical doctor who will assist you find a solution to it.
Keep your head straight, don’t be swayed, I assured you solution is by the corner if you can do what I have asked you to do.
Take care.
