Dear bro Fuston,
I am getting worried as the day goes by. I can’t exactly say what the problem is with me, I would have blamed the problem on some evil persons around me, but the question I have been asking myself is why would someone bewitch me especially in the area of my relationship. My relationships hardly last and I can’t say exactly why it is so.
I put in my best to make those I accept as friends to feel at home with me, somehow they would start foot dragging about the friendship or they offer one excuse or the other why they can’t continue in the affair.
Why is it that my fellow girls, even my younger sisters are enjoying a rosy and stable relationships while mine crumbles like a pack of cards in a twinkle of an eye?
I think I have a soft personality and I have been very polite and civil in my dealings with men.
Is it the fault of the men? If so why is it that some men are happy in their affairs with other girls?
Could it be because I have not offered my body to any of them that had asked me out? I am ready to offer so quickly my body to any man that approaches me for a relationship henceforth.
Something tells me the fault is from me but as I write to you, I cannot pin point at any reason why men can’t stay in a relationship with me for a whole month.
I have had series of relationships, if I’m not mistaken about eight, yet none lasted a considerable period. At twenty seven years I am still a virgin, and this disturbs me greatly, because I know that having a steady and fruitful relationship is a prelude to a happy marriage, this has eluded me since I became an adult and that is why I am earnestly crying out to you.
Help me I am worried.
Stacy from Uyo.
Dear Stacy,
Virgins are respected and cherished by decent minds anywhere in the world, your being a virgin at twenty seven years should be a pride to you and not a thing to make you feel sorrowful.
You’re not being able to maintain a steady relationship is not enough reason why you should give away your pride and your most cherished virtue, , I am referring to your statement of allowing any man that seeks relationship from you, your body. What if the man leaves after feasting on your body? That, I think is not the reason for the failure in your several relationships.
You think that the crash in your relationship is from you, but you can’t say exactly what the problem is.
I am thinking that the problem stems from your assessment of yourself, you may be battling with low self esteem and this could be the reason for this brief stay in relationships.
Negative feelings about your physical or psychological self, and indeed whether you are even worthy of forming a good relationship can act as a self fulfilling prophecy, either blocking attempts to enter into new liaisons, or ensuring that any relationship that develops is full of disharmony and discord and so bound to fail.
A low self-image can often become deeply ingrained as a result of the negative messages we have received from friends, relatives and loved ones, particularly in our early formative years when we were at our most vulnerable and impressionable stage.
If you must keep a steady relationship, then you must develop a positive image of yourself, you must counteract your negative feelings.
Identify those aspects of your thoughts and feelings that embody your negative mental patterns.
You wrote to me saying that your relationship don’t last, it is a negative thought and feelings, the Bible said as a man thinks in his heart so is he. Write out this negative thoughts and also write down the positive affirmations that counteract these negative images, why not say to yourself continually that your relationship must work.
Let me say to you that continued reinforcement of your positive nature will change the negative patterning of your subconscious mind, creating a direct effect on your conscious actions and your attitude to others.
If you can be able to do this, I bet you people will begin to see you from your perspective and definition and before you know it real love that is ready to spend the rest of his life will be coming after you.
Take care.
