Dear Fuston,
Goodmorning, thank you for being there for people like me who desire your advice to forge on with life.
I am seriously hooked in love with a guy whose parents never approved of our relationship.
He is an Artisan while I am an undergraduate of a polytechnic.
We have been lovers for about five years now, yet we can’t get married because his parents believe that their only son cannot get married to a woman from far away Kogi State, to them they need a woman that understands their culture and tradition atleast one, if not from their state Imo, then from neigbouring Abia, Anambra and Enugu states.
My man has done all he could to convince them to accepts me as their daughter in-law.
But all approaches and pleas hit brick wall and this has kept us worried.
The mother recently invited him home to meet a girl they brought for him to marry.
He came back to the town to tell me how he rejected the girl and insisted that I am the only woman he has prepared his mind to have as a wife.
We have passed through a lot together and have vowed to remain together no matter the condition.
I am three months old pregnant for him and this would be the third time, the first two, I had to abort them because we were waiting to get the consent of his parents before letting anyone know that I am pregnant for him. From the look of things they don’t seem to accept their son having me as his wife and this has put me in a great fix. I don’t want to lose my man because I offered him the better part of me, I am only 23 years and would love to have him as my husband, but his parents are the only barrier to this dream of mine.
My man is now talking about us eloping to a far distance, change our telephone lines and begin a new life there as husband and wife, he is serious about it and has already begun moves toward our moving out of reach. I have told him to consider my education and the fact that no matter what happened those involved remain his parents.
His mind is made up, because, he feels the pressure from his parents are becoming unbearable.
Is there anything we can do to change his parents?
Is eloping to a far distance the best option to this problem.
Do I go for the third abortion and abandon this guy, since his parents are bent on making sure that he doesn’t bring me home for marriage?
Your timely intervention into this matter I believe will go a long way in probably arresting this ugly situation. Please, help me I need every moral and godly assistance at this time.
Reginah
Dear Reginah,
Running away is not the best option to the issue, how long will you stay away?
Your man should not try to run away from his shadows because it is a difficult thing to do.
Let him stay back and sort his problems, that will prove him a more mature man, than running away defeated.
Bob Marley in one of his relics said “He who fights and runs away lives to fight another day”
Can you now see why it is forbidden from young people to engage in pre-marital sex? For God to have warned against fornication or sex before marriage, He knows the implications. You wouldn’t have been this worried if not for the simple truth that you have had the first and second abortions and is now pregnant for this guy the third time.
You are part of your trouble and most times there must be punishment for any error one commits. Do not contemplate abortion at all, because it is not an option, its health hazards are enormous, so going for it for third time might be very detrimental.
Do your best to nurse the pregnancy for nine months, you maybe carrying in your womb the next Governor of the state.
It is unfortunate that most people at this time and age still consider distance in marriage as a big problem.
However, I think what your man can do to get the approval of his parents towards your marriage is to engage them in a dialogue.
He should make them understand that marrying someone from Kogi State doesn’t take anything away from their culture and tradition, rather she is expected to bring part of her culture and add to yours to enrich it.
Your man should speak to respected people in his community to assist him talk to the parents about the matter.
The test of manhood is not to make a woman pregnant but to stand unmovable and initiate ideas on how to tackle the situation.
Tell him to show he is a mature man now.
Have a pleasant weekend.
