Dear Fuston,
My story with this guy is lengthy, but I will try and make it short.
He dealt with me in the real sense of it and he knows it.
We have known ourselves right from the days we were children, living in the same street. I have always trusted him because there has never been any reason for me to suspect or doubt him in anything.
He is two years older than me, but we graduated the same year, he has always loved me and I have respected and loved him beyond measure. We have done many things together and that was why it shocked me to the marrows when this guy cunningly used and dumped me recently.
Based on what he did to me, I now find it hard to trust anybody, I now perceive fraud in any venture I get myself into.
I came from a wealthy home, while he came from a humble background, my parents felt he is not the right person for me because of low level but I considered him as the best for me.
We had agreed to travel abroad together where we will stay and enjoy our freedom as lovers, but this hope as it relates to me dashed.
I was bringing money and giving to him to secure visa for us to travel to Canada, not knowing that he was only putting together his papers. He in fact succeeded and travelled without my knowledge but according to him, he was sent back to Nigeria due to an immigration problem.
We have not seen face to face because I told him never to look for me again because he is a fraudster.
He has been calling me on phone begging and has been sending some of our friends to beg me, he wants me back and to say the truth I still feel something inward for him. But I am skeptical and wouldn’t know if I can trust him again. Though he disappointed me, told me lies during the visa procurement and wasted the money I got from my parents for the purpose of travelling abroad, he used and dumped me but I think I still love him.
I am confiding in you, what do you want me to do now? The begging is becoming too much please, tell me what to do
MaryJane
Dear MaryJane,
I will not advise you not to forgive anybody that offends you and remorsefully ask for your forgiveness.
The attitude of forgiveness attracts God’s blessings, so you should forgive him to avoid incurring the wrath of God, because God also punishes those that are too hardened to forgive the errors committed against them by fellow human beings.
One other thing you should bear in mind is that it will be out of place for you to embrace this guy and begin to relate with him the way you had been doing right from your childhood.
You can forgive him of this wrong doing but keep him at an arm’s length. You can forgive him and immediately bring him back into your bosom.
You can also forgive him and watch closely if he has actually renewed his mind.
None of these options is against God and the law of nature, so you have the latitude to go by any, the decision is purely yours.
But, since you said you still love him, I am of the opinion that you forgive him and watch him closely, remember building trust in this kind of relationship is almost impossible, because for a guy that grew up with you and you two remained friends till after graduation in the university, for the same guy to mindlessly extort money from you, told you lies, used and dumped you demand you go extra miles to know what he has in mind.
Also remember that a leopard hardly changes its spot, ensure you love this guy really and not that you are infatuated about him.
Be very careful, have a pleasant weekend.
