Dear Bro. Fuston,
I have noticed through your column on Fridays at Nigeria Newspoint that you are a rare gift to humanity.
I was born into a home that cherishes good name and believes that integrity is a trait all members of the family should possess.
We also consider this quality in any relationship before engaging in such, so it is not only about me, it is a family long acquired character which cannot be changed.
Let me not bore you with my lengthy family beliefs and go straight to the point.
One Wednesday afternoon I went to a shopping plaza along Douglas Road Owerri to purchase a phone pouch and after frantic effort to get the type I needed failed, I decided to go home. While I was walking down the stair-case, a fair-complexioned young man walked up to me and gently asked: What are you looking for? I have been watching you move from one shop to the other in this plaza?
I patiently described the kind of phone pouch that I was looking for and also told him that I could not see that type in Owerri Main Market.
This young man told me to go and return in two days’ time with a promise of bringing the exact type I was looking for. Before leaving, he handed to me his business card.
I called him the afternoon of the very day, he told me to come, and he said I should come to his shop to collect the pouch, when I got there, he gave it to me and I was so happy.
When I enquired to know the price, he told me not to pay anything but that something in him strongly tells him that I am his future wife and that he started having the feelings the moment he set his eyes on me. I was so surprised at this behaviour of his.
Truly speaking, I developed something good also for him there and that was how we began a relationship that is about 20 months now.
He is my dream man, very understanding and articulate. He pampers me silly and has never raised his voice at me, rather he gives me treatment that is exclusively meant for queens.
I love him more than tongues could tell, he is a gentle man with a lovely carriage, my parents, brothers and sisters love him to a fault.
I feel secure in his arms and I also know that he is very comfortable with me.
We have agreed to get married and had already taken August 10 this year for the accomplishment of the entire traditional rites, after which we then fix the elaborate traditional and church wedding.
Recently, I was shocked to my marrows to discover that my hero smokes marijuana. I caught him red-handed smoking one early morning I went to his house without notice.
Sir, do I stop the wedding? Can he stop this killer and nauseating habit today, tomorrow?
My family will reject him if they know he smokes marijuna I am shattered, please help me.
Lovinda in Owerri.
Dear Lovinda,
Findings of this nature, are one of the many reasons why intending couples should know themselves very well before marriage.
Courtship done in respect and obedience to the commandment of God should be encouraged among people wishing to be married.
Smoking, sniffing, injecting, inhaling and the general use of hard drugs are prohibited by the law of the land, and anyone found flouting this law must be punished and I think it is one of the reasons why those that use hard drugs like marijuana do so in hiding.
There are also some health challenges associated with this dangerous habit. Studies show that the in-take of hard drugs can lead to liver disease, depression and other terminal ailments.
Another thing to be taken seriously is that the society looks down on anybody that uses hard drugs and can hardly entrust a sensitive or leadership positions on such a person.
This addiction is very damaging. It can lead one into stealing, especially when one lacks money to buy the drug. Use of prohibited substances goes against the laws of God because it defiles the person.
I will not tell you my dear Lovinda to stop your proposed marriage rites, take some steps further to help him quit this killer habit.
Remember that habits do not die so easily. So, you must be patient in carrying out this task. Is he willing to stop this habit? If yes, then the time to show him practical love is now, he will be eternally grateful to you if you can assist him move out of this behaviour.
Speak to him meekly about the dangers of the habit, tell him that your people may not approve of your marriage with him if they find out that he dopes.
Ask him in love, if his life as a marijuana smoker is better than those men that do not smoke.
Prayer is a valuable tool that cannot fail, apply prayers in this regard. Don’t run away from the man you love more than tongues could tell. Try and change him, make an impact in his life and I bet you he will always respect you for this.
