Dear Bro Fuston,
Please permit me to ask you this question that has been bothering me for a long time now.
Oguchi is my name. I am a native of Amakaohia in Ikeduru Local Government Area of Imo State.
I am a fresh graduate who just got a job with one of the new generation banks in Nigeria. I am an only son and that is why my parents want me to marry on time. I am 24 years and they have promised to assist me marry any girl of my choice.
My father told me to bring the girl myself because they do not want to intervene, so that I don’t have to blame anybody tomorrow if there is a problem.
I want to take my time to marry a woman that will not trouble me but one that will ensure peace reigns in our house.
I am a gentle man who hates noise, but the girl I found attractive and would want to marry has a minus and that is that they are always quarreling in their house. I have visited their house few times and each time, it is either the girls are quarrelling with the boys or the girls quarrelling with themselves.
She is a different person when she stays with me and has a disposition that suggests she is peaceful.
Aside from this, she is a beauty to behold, very brilliant and understanding. My parents will like her but I am somehow scared because of their constant quarrels.
Can she bring this into her marriage? I need your help in this regard.
Oguchi in Imo State.
Dear Oguchi,
Marriage is not for boys but for men, so don’t rush into it if you think you are not mature enough to accommodate a woman from different background and orientation as your wife.
It is wrong to rush into marriage because your parents think that as an only son you must marry.
You raised an important issue and so you must take your time to know the girl before making your decision.
Sometimes siblings quarrel but it does not make them a quarrelsome bunch. Some others take delight in quarrelling probably because their parents quarreled regularly before them, so they imbibed such wrong behaviour.
That is why you must take your time to understand who the girl is and what she is capable of doing.
Study her to know if she is presenting the wrong façade to you or if she is being pushed to the wall by the situations at home.
This studying should not be done in a haste; you will get the best result when you adopt patience in studying this girl that is attracted to you.
Implore your intuition and don’t be blinded by her beauty, remember you will not see her beauty anymore if she is actually pugnacious. Marriage is a life time contract and one ought to take it easy before engaging in it.
If after your findings and you discover that she is quarrelsome, I advise that you stay away from her. If you discover that she is what she presents to you then go ahead and marry her.
Remember my advice is take time to know her. Assess her properly before taking any decision.
God bless you.
