Dear Bro Fuston,
I no longer find this attitude funny, but I indulge in it to please my fiancé because he enjoys doing it.
The first time he had sex with me, his cousin who is almost his age mate was there, then he was staying in one room self content and his cousin came visiting from Kano.
I excused him because that night, the visitor had no where to go to, so I had to oblige him without remorse but with some restrictions.
The second time was right in front of two girl friends of mine who accompanied me from school to visit him at home. I tried to raise an objection but he insisted that they must be there since they came together with me, being adults with the understanding that myself and himself are lovers.
There was a night he nearly beat me up because I vehemently refused to accept him make love to me in his car after clubbing, people from the club house where roaming the place and I told him that I cannot try the rubbish in a public place like a club house, the worst being that he makes noise that always attracts passers-by to know what we are doing.
My greatest surprise is that after sleeping with me right in front of his relatives and friends, he is ready to skin me alive if he dares sees me come too close to any of them.
Eighty five percent of the times we made love were done in the presence of other people and this has continued. I have noticed that he enjoys it and can give his best when others watch us, unlike when we are alone.
Now he wants to marry me and he is damn serious about it. I have told him to wait for me to think and get back to him but he has been disturbing me about marriage.
I am wondering if we are going to make a good couple by this attitude because I don’t see him stopping it and as a married woman I wouldn’t want to continue in the exposure.
Apart from this, he is intelligent, generous and caring. I love him so much and would want him to be the father of my children but when I remember this sex before others, my heart jumps into my stomach. Help! Please.
Destiny Uju ABSU.
Dear Destiny,
Marriage is totally different from an illicit affair, in that it is revered institution.
God and man respect this union of man and woman and so it is not for perversed minds, it is for regenerate minds.
The sexual orientation of the man that wants to marry you is contrary to that which is accepted or expected and so there is no way it can bring forth good fruits.
He tends to beat you up when you move too close to those folks that witness him make love to you, is this not an irony.
He lacks respect for you and have portrayed you as a woman of easy virtue or harlot before those people and there is no time they will treat you with respect because you first threw the respect and integrity you should nurture for yourself to the dogs.
Dogs and goats are known for open show of mating not human beings, so one can be called a dog or goat if he or she degenerates to the level of public sex.
Sex is an exclusive right of the married (a man and his wife), it is sacred and a major part to the sanctity of God’s ordained institution called marriage. It is not done in the open and so anything outside this is abnormal and attracts God’s wrath.
If you must marry, please, marry one that will respect and love you to the fullest. There is no iota of respect in such indecent exposure you are put through by your so called lover.
Moreover, those people that watch you when this vile act is going on are put into temptation, debased mind among them might consider an alternative option to taste your womanhood, it could be through rape.
Do not accept his marriage proposals if he refuses to purge himself from this extremely unpleasant act.
The only way he can achieve this is by letting the light of God shine in his heart, you can be of help by telling him to cling to God’s word, by making God’s word your bedrock, because you cannot give what you don’t have.
Don’t rush into what you will regret tomorrow.
Take time before you leap.
Look well before you cross.
Have a lovely weekend.
