Dear Bro. Fuston,
One man who should not be more than fourty years, and less than thirty five years, has constantly been buying from my mother’s provision shop.
He is kind, generous and very humorous. Any time he comes to buy from our shop, he certainly will throw up jokes that will make everybody laugh throughout the period he stays.
Early last month, he came to our shop, before my mother and two siblings, and asked me if I could be his wife. We were all startled, because we have not seen him appear so serious, and he has not mentioned friendship for once, and now he is talking about marriage
My mother told him to go and come to the house in a week’s time, if he is serious to marry me, and that she will enquire from me to know my intentions.
That same night, he called me on phone and narrated how he has been watching me to know the kind of person I am. He did come to my house after a week, and my mother told him that marriage is not contracted in a hurry, that he should give me time to know him before taking a decision.
I like him as a person, he has some good qualities I desire in a man especially his neatness and generousity, but I discovered that he is a police man. Already, I have vowed not to marry a police man because of their activities, and the curse people place on them, but this man has been on
my neck.
What do I do? My mum said the decision is mine.
Winnie in Owerri.
Dear Winnie,
I will suggest that you reconsider your vow, a system no doubt has the tendency of corrupting an individual in it, mostly when that system is corrupt, but on e truth that cannot be taken away is that, individuals make systems, and not systems making individual
The emphasis should not be the police as a system, but the character of the individual in the system or an institution like the Nigeria Police Force.
Some policemen are successful in their marriages, while some are not, just like we have some clerics that are shame to the institution of marriage. It is not the hood that makes the monk; rather, it is the monk that makes the hood.
What I will suggest is that you probe further to know if there are areas in this fellow’s life that you cannot tolerate. That if seen , can make you reject his proposal, but if you prove his life style worthy, it will not be right for you to judge him based on a particular system. Take your time, do not hurry, study this man thoroughly before making your decision. I wish you the best.