Bros, Happy New Year,
Perplexity is a mild word, I wouldn’t say if I am bewildered or shocked.
Sometimes in my quiet moment, I remember the bond of love that existed in our family, especially between my father and mother, and how this love has been torn into shreds, leading to fighting, bickering and quarreling.
I cannot find the reason why my father, a 66 year old man, is bent on marrying another wife, not just a second wife, but a girl much younger than him and also my ex-girlfriend.
The girl in question is threatening fire and brimstone that my father must marry her because they are in love. She told a family source that she recently had a miscarriage and that my father was responsible for the pregnancy.
I don’t know how and when they met or how they go to know each other, but it was early last month that the story of my father taking a second wife reared its ugly head.
For you to know how to advice me in this matter, it is important to notify you that this same girl my father wants to marry was my lover for five years, I had to leave her and marry another girl because of her bad behaviour. She is the same girl he is struggling to bring into the family.
She has already started causing trouble even now that she has not been officially married into our family. Some people are suspecting that she is using diabolical means to cage the old man.
 Come to think of it, how can my own father stoop so low to marry a girl that myself, his second son dated for years and had sex with?
A girl I was taking to bed, coming to be my step mother; is that not preposterous?
Another thing being that there was no initial trouble between my parents to have warranted him to make this move.
I am 38 years now, while this girl is 34 years; the same age mate with our last born.
There is nothing we have not done to stop this relationship, yet, none has yielded positive result. I have told my father several times that I dated and had sex with the girl, that she has no good character, but he thinks I defaming the girl’s character just to stop him from marrying her.
My mother has gone to her with my two sisters to warn her to steer clear of my father, but the girl is relentless and determined.
The matter has been reported to our Parish Priest in the village, but because my father is not regular with church activities, nothing concrete was said and done.
That girl’s coming into the family will definitely polarize us and as such, we don’t want her at all. I need someone to advice us on the most amicable way to push her out of our father’s life and I think you can help us.
Samuel, from Orlu.
Dear Samuel,
I am glad that you seek for an amicable approach to resolve the problem. Being peaceful is the best, so, I support you in this.
It is shameful that your father debased himself to the level of insisting to marry as a second wife, your ex-lover. I know how you and particularly, your mother feel about this.
We sometimes try to highlight the dangers inherent in polygamy, how much more a situation where a man is taking his son’s former intimate lover as a wife.
I may not rule out the issue of voodoo in this matter completely, but the truth is that before a man is entangled in this kind of shameful affair, he may have gone close to the lady and that is when the charm or whatever will have effect. If indeed you suspect charm, then prayers can neutralize it. Every member of the family, since you are not in support of the unholy union, should continue to speak to your father.
Don’t plan any evil against your father or his new found love. Endeavour to make him understand the dangers of his actions, how that act alone has put the family under pressure and is likely to cause further crisis in a once peaceful home.
You people should work hard to make him understand that there is no way he can enjoy relative peace when you, his first family, is in total disagreement with the marriage.
It could be the lady wants to use your father to destabilize your home for dumping her after many years of dating.
Find out, if this is the case, then you must plead with the girl to drop her plans. She may be desperate and needs someone to encourage her to wait for a man that will marry her and make their marriage less troublesome.
The girl should be made to understand that the intending marriage with your father has a huge minus and that she should not start fighting a war early in her marriage and probably to the end when she deserves comfort and peace in her marriage.
Your family must continue to talk to your father and this girl; I assure you there will be positive result if you combine prayers and constant communication in this matter.
If after applying every gentle means to bring to a stop this problem, then, I suggest you don’t do anything funny but to let them be. One day, the two will understand the reasons why God made them from the beginning, a male and female.
Thank you for finding time to seek help from me. Happy New Year and have a wonderful weekend.
