Hi, Bro. Fuston
I am bringing to you the best of Christmas and new year ahead.
Someone I know sent a letter to you stating her problems, it’s up to three months now she has been waiting for your reply, and it is disappointed you have not replied the letter.
I do not wish mine to stay that long because I need your urgent assistance, so I beg you not to delay your reply.
A married man has asked for my hand in marriage, he is very serious about it and this has left me confused. Though, I have been dating him for about two years, it has never occurred to me not even for one second that he will beg me to be his second wife, and on my own, I have prayed for a marriage where I will be in charge.
I was dating him because I needed that emotional security which he has provided for me, I feel something strong for him but not to the extent of marriage. What is more? He is childless and sometimes when he talks about his twelve years of childless marriage, I pity him and think I could do anything to restore joy in his life. He is such a nice man that desires and deserves to be happy. I am not convinced that his wife supports or is even aware of the move. Each time I ask him the opinion of his wife on the matter, he keeps assuring me that he knows how to handle the woman.
I am an orphan even though I am a bigger adult and wouldn’t know if my older siblings will encourage my being a second wife.
I am not too enthusiastic about his marriage offer and on the other hand, I am not fully convinced of dropping the idea or jettisoning my lover at this time.
I felt I should seek a dispassionate advice from someone like you so that I don’t end up committing an eternal blunder
We have been battling this issue for sometime now and he has pleaded with me to give him a child since I have not been able to provide him with an answer on the marriage offer.
We have come a long way I must admit, and that is why I want to know if it is wrong for me to accept being his second wife.
I do not want to consider his second option of giving him a child because I am sure if that happens I will be at the receiving end, for me , that holds no water.
My plight is to understand from you why two persons, attracted to each other, married or not, cannot get married.
Susan is my name and I live the apartment the same guy rented for me in Aba.
Dear Susan,
Your mail came before the yuletide, we couldn’t reply before the holidays because there were other mails that came before yours.
However, we crave for your understanding. As for the unreplied mail by someone you know, I can’t remember skipping any mail that merits publication, probably your friend’s letter may be vague and this is enough for us to drop any letter. Tell her to re-do the letter and send back to us.
You are wrong to have started dating a married man, your attitude, I must say, contributes to the sorrow of the childless wife of your lover. Must you date a married man? If you are in the shoes of this poor wife, would you have been happy that someone is dating your husband?
It appears you do not even know what you want for yourself, you desire a marriage where you will in be in charge, if am not mistaking, you want be your husband’s only wife, why then did you allow a married man to sway you? I am also thinking that this desire to be in charge can lead you into plotting for the removal of your lover’s wife completely.
Marriage as much as I know, is not consummated based on sympathy. But in your confusion to the offer of marriage made to you by this man., I sense you are being sympathetic to your lover because of his childlessness. Be careful, this is a wrong motive for marriage.
I cannot encourage you to be a second wife because so many things are wrong with polygamy, besides, God made it from the beginning; a man and a woman. You are not a baby making machine, God is the only giver of children and gives at his time. The best you can do for your friend is to pray for Him for God to bless his wife with the fruit of the womb, and not displace a fellow woman who is already passing through some challenges in her marriage.
Do something now to stop the illicit relationship with another woman’s husband, prepare yourself in the right manner and wait for your own husband to come. Be careful and have a wonderful weekend.
