It has been said that 80 percent of women who do not live together with their husbands as a result of distance are largely unfaithful to their spouses, while 20 percent give in to masturbation; as their spouses often encourage them to use toys in order to remain faithful. The Woman had a chat with some women to whose husbands are faraway to know how they cope with their ‘overseas’ or ‘Diasporan’ husbands,
Excerpts:
Mrs Elendu: To be candid, it is not easy coping without my husband, but what keeps me going is the fact that he is far from me because he wants a better future for us. The urge to be with him most times is something else, most times in a cold night or morning; I do really miss him more in times like that. He bought me toys, the last time he came back, and encouraged me to use it anytime I feel him more, but not in the presence of our children. Most times late in the night before I do it will I call him or we chat via facebook. Most times, we talk about the last time we had it, that gets me so wet that I will moan to his hearing. He enjoys it because he comes with it at times.
Mrs. Theresa Ike: My dear, do you think that there is any woman that will tell you that she has a lover that satisfies her sexually because her husband stays abroad? (Smiles). Anyway I will be frank with you, 80 percent of us whose husbands live abroad do things we are not proud of. Most times, it’s not our fault because they will tell you that they will come back every six month but you end up not seeing them for 2 years, ‘body no be firewood na’. I didn’t tell you my real name, so nobody will trace it to me. I’m telling you the truth in other to discourage any lady who is dreaming of marrying all these abroad husbands. If you must marry any of them, make sure you are going there with him as soon as he marries you, anything short of that, you will surely live to regret it. I’m talking from experience, I see my hubby ones in every 2 to 3 years, and then he comes to impregnate me, stays three weeks and goes back. Yes, he makes sure I and the children lack nothing materially but that’s not enough. Let me not bore you with my stories, one thing leads to the other, I found this guy that helps me out, I go to visit him but I make sure he doesn’t come to my house. That’s how I cope, I’m not proud of it though.
Mrs Ezinne: Self determinations they say makes a man, for me, I see my hubby ones in every year, but that doesn’t make me go about sleeping around. Not that I don’t miss him, I do but not to the point of looking for who else will satisfy me, after all we agreed before we got married that he will be based abroad for some years before I could join him with the kids. Let me tell you my secret; what keeps me going is the fact that I am working; I am very busy, I wake up as early as 5:am, get the kids ready for school, drop them and go to my office, come back 5pm most times 6:pm because of traffic. Besides, I have a good relationship with God which is what keeps me going. I believe most women cheat because they are ideal, and the type of friends they keep. In fact any woman that cheats just because her hubby is far from her is a cheat and can cheat even when her hubby is around also.
Mummy Chizorom: Why is it always an issue when a woman sleeps with a man outside her hubby? But when men do it, it is termed that men are polygamous, it is their way. I tell you, most women who do not live with their husbands together are being driven to sleep with another man by their husbands. I know of a woman in my neighbourhood whose husband lives abroad, he asks her to get a young man that will satisfy her, but she should make sure she uses condom and that he must not know the guy. Imagine a thing like that? That goes to show that the man does same over there. But when we see a married woman with another man it will be as though she has committed the worst crime,” abeg change this topic, no be our own worse pass”.
Mama Ekele: My dear, to tell you the truth, I have been married for over 30 years now, I have never cheated on my husband even if he cheats on me it’s left between him and his God. The issue of married women sleeping around these days baffles me, it wasn’t so during the 80s when I got married, but it is the order of the day now, that shows that the end is near, because the Bible says that when things like this start happening, know that the end is near.
Lady D: It is not always the way one thinks it to be, most of us have been driven to do all sorts of dirty acts. Initially we think that it doesn’t matter, let’s get married first because all our mates are getting married, at the end of the day when the heat is on, we sort for other ways to satisfy us. Most of us practise lesbianism for fear of not been seen with a man since to the world it’s the worst thing a married woman can do. (Cheating on her spouse). To avoid any suspicion, we help ourselves and life goes on.
Blessing Eke: Instead of me cheating on my hubby, I rather masturbate, it’s the same thing, provided it makes me cope, what else will I be looking for with another man, when our society condemns it? There are electric vibrators that can help you or perhaps artificial penis, you can use your hand to enjoy yourself (laughs) ‘nothing dey there’ than to face disgrace.
Mrs. Cecilia: There is no point wasting your time or trying to blame it on anyone.
One, you are entitled to your action. If you know you can’t stay for some months without having sex, why bother marrying one that stays abroad, when there is no agreement that you will join him over there?
The issue of cheating is personal; I believe a woman can stay without cheating or masturbating. Anyway, this comes as a level of your relationship with God, because it takes a God-fearing woman not to cheat. If I can do it, someone else can; it’s a choice.
