Dear Bro Fuston,
I have been going to news-stands mostly on Fridays to read your column, and because I am pleased with the way and manner you handle people’s relationship wahala, I decided to present my own to you.
It started as an adventure with fellow secondary school mates. We would sneak out of the school compound to patronize harlots in a notorious brothel after our school. It was fun, we wanted to explore but now I am stuck in the game. I have long left the secondary school, graduated from the university and now gainfully employed but I still cannot stay for two days without going to meet and interact with my friends in the brothel. I have tried to stay away but it is a difficult task for me.
I have made attempts to keep steady relationship but it has not worked out, the times I tried having a steadysexual partner, I felt like one in the prison yard, I had no freedom of my own, I was being timed and checkmated, to be sincere it was a big burden, if it is not bring money for my hair, it will be money to make one cloth or buy one shoe.
But in the case of those harlots, I bargain with them, if there is an agreement, I will catch my fun, leaves without them trailing me with the phone.
They mix up well, though some of them could be harsh and nasty, but if you meet some enlightened ones they could keep you laughing and happy throughout your stay with them.
Many of them dance well and are very conversant of their environment, sometimes I don’t go to them for sex, but offer them drinks and they with their numerous encounters will keep you spell-bound with stories. Many of them are conscious of their bodies and are neater than some girls that are not into that job. My last outing with one of the so-called decent girls ended in regrets. I was aImost choked, each time she called my phone and it rang without my picking it, I will answer for that, or she called and my phone was switched off, then I must tell her the girl that made me switch off my phone. It was fighting and quarrelling all the time, very little thing raises suspicion unlike what I see among those girls in the brothel.
I am 36 years old and the fear of being monitored is the greatest problem I have settling down with a woman. I like my freedom and wouldn’t compromise or let anything, not even marriage to jeopardize it.
As an adult, I feel that love without happiness will bring about hatred, restricting me in the name of marriage will cause me to pull out of such marriage.
Lately, I have been seriously disturbed by some friends and family members to get a wife since I have all it takes to marry. In sincerity, I have not thought of that because I am afraid of being thrown into the prison yard of marriage.
I have keenly watched marriages of friends, relatives, co-workers and associates and none has ever proven to offer the kind of happiness I so desire.
I have also tried my hands on steady relationships and not even one allowed me the latitude to freely operate. Is it not said that “the taste of the pudding is in the eating”.
Candidly speaking, I enjoy and prefer going to prostitutes, catch my fun and leave without being encumbered or having strings attached.
My worry is why is everybody refusing to respect and see reasons with me? Thisis why I felt I should wire a mail to you to hear your unbiased side.
Kingsley,
Warri.
Dear Kingsley,
Thank you very much for baring your mind on an issue like this. You can now see the reason why I told you to send an e-mail or SMS to me, I may not have captured all these in a telephone discussion.
In addressing your question, I must point out to you that there is a way that seems right unto a man but the end is destruction. The type of liberty you desire is the high way to doom.
An adult is one that is responsible and committed to any cause that will surely bring lasting benefits to him, your habit of going to brothels is only affording you momentary happiness, its end, if you don’t turn away from it fast will bring hot tears on your eyes.
You want to run away from marriage commitments and that is why you’ve found succour in the arms of women of easy virtue.
Marriage affords you the right liberty or freedom and not the type of liberty that can bring dangerous sicknesses on you. Marriage is ordained by God and cannot be described as a prison yard. Individuals make their marriages what they want it to be. The way you make your bed so you lie on it.
Many marriages are enjoying happiness and couples’ maturity is measured by the level of happiness the enjoy.
You have not done anything at 36 years to prove your maturity. You have failed in your quest to keep a steady relationship because your mind is not devoid of a dirty habit you acquired while in secondary school.
If you don’t scrub your head of this habit, there is no way you can maintain a woman as a wife.
Cleanse your mind of this relationship that is based solely on your sexual gratification by inviting God’s spirit into your life. Yes, your major reason of being friends with harlots is only to satisfy your sexual urge. That is not all that is involved in a relationship, especially the marriage relationship.
The home is where the mind is and not in the brothel, so begin now to plan towards achieving a home where your mind will always be. Begin now to work towards having a home that its happiness transcends that of the brothel. You can only achieve this when you give God a place in your life and renew your mind. Only then you can clearly see a woman compatible with you, a woman that will give you peace and real happiness, a woman that will give you lovely children and a decent family. Think twice and act fast before it becomes time barred. Take care.
