Dear Fuston,
Kindly help me address this problem that has been eating me up since after I returned from Lagos recently. A guy from a neighbouring village to mine has been pestering me on phone, e-mail, facebook and occasional visit to marry him.
Recently, I accepted to be his wife and he was so glad about it. He only told me he lives in Lagos and there was no mention of the type of house he lives in.
He is a handsome guy, hardworking, intelligent and kind, to be honest what motivated me into the relationship and my acceptance to his proposal was his intelligence.
Already, I have informed my mum and elder sister about him and his intentions to commence marriage proceedings this December.
He told me that he is 33 years and I am 26 years. I had reasons to travel to Lagos for some important things concerning my career and also decided to see him on the process.
My findings weren’t pleasing and that has kept me worried since my return from Lagos. The guy that wants to marry me lives in his Gulf 3 car, when I knew about this and asked him he told me that his place of residence was sold without a notice to the occupants and they were forcefully ejected from the building.
He told me that he parked his belongings to a church building since he has no money to rent a new apartment and have been sleeping in his car to avoid inconveniencing any of his friends.
He is not in a hurry to get a roof over his head, his preoccupation now is how to raise money from his soap-making business and marry me this December.
He said I could still stay here in Owerri after the traditional rites while he looks for money to get a place there in Lagos where we will live.
Please, what I want to know from you sir, is if this is a good idea, can a man be talking about marriage when he has no house he lives in?
Help me. I am eagerly waiting for your answers.
Chinwendu,
Owerri.
Dear Chinwendu,
This guy from what you pointed out possesses good qualities. But I must say that it is wrong for one to do a good thing at the wrong time.
Marriage is not done in a hurry, one needs to put one acts together before going into marriage. First thing must be done first. He should get a house first before talking about marriage, the important thing is that you two have agreed to get married, so let him work towards providing those necessary things that could enhance your happiness as a couple.
Call him and tell him politely to endeavour to get a roof over his head, it is a basic necessity, doing so also will shield him from the shame and ridicule that follows his act of sleeping in a car.
Any hardworking person can achieve all he desires, since your guy is an industrious person let him make it a point of duty to get a place no matter how little. Let him take time in doing this before you two make mistakes.
If he accepts to do this then you should not worry about his homelessness for it is a matter of time.
Happy weekend.
